Vicevi za fotografi
Испечатено од: IDIVIDI forum
Категорија: Стил на живот
Име на форумот: Фотографија, камери и видео
Опис на форумот: foto.idividi.com.mk, опрема, локации, совети за аматери...
URL: http://forum.idividi.com.mk/forum_posts.asp?TID=6633
Датум на принтање: 24.Ноември.2024 во 02:50
Верзија на софтверот: Web Wiz Forums 10.03 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Тема: Vicevi za fotografi
Постирано од: loser
Наслов: Vicevi za fotografi
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 11:27
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Aj da gi cujam vasite vicevite za fotografi. Eve tri od mene sto sum gi slusnal na net Q:Kolku fotografi treba da za da se napravi edna dobra fotka? A: 50- eden da ja slikne i 49 da kazat nisto posebno pa i ja mozam ova da go sliknam Q:Kolku fotografi treba da za da se napravi edna super fotka? A: 100- eden da ja slikne i 99 da kazat nisto posebno, da ja slikav ja sto puti bolja ke ispadnese I mojot favourite Q: Sto pravi fotograf koga ke dobie milion dolari na loto? A: Prodolzuva da raboti se dodeka ne gi potrosi Pozdrav |
Коментари:
Постирано од: zatko
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 11:45
posledniot e cista vistina
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Постирано од: bibse
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 11:56
ova mi se sviga:50- eden da ja slikne i 49 da kazat nisto posebno pa i ja mozam ova da go sliknam  ------------- Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. :):) |
Постирано од: JANE971
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 12:36
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OBICNO KOGA FOTOGRAFIRAM NEKOGO, T.E. NEKOJA OSOBENO I KOGA KE MI RECE SAKAM DA IZLEZAM UBAVO NA SLIKA... MOJOT ODGOVOR E: ZA TEHNICKATA ISPRAVNOST I BESPREKORNOST NA FOTOGRAFIJATA SUM JAS ODGOVOREN, A ZA UBAVINATA ZALETE SE KAJ MAMA I TATO ------------- Born to be alive... http://on.net.mk/galerija/jane-ljorovski |
Постирано од: loser
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 12:43
A jas im vikam deka ne sum plasticen hirurg  Ama site mi ispagaat ubavo radi 85mm 1.8 P.S. Jane pak se deres  |
jane971 напиша:Постирано од: vlatko_sk
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 12:56
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Eve eden od mene.Me mrzese da preveduvam. Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?" "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!" |
Постирано од: anakin
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 13:06
a da im kazes NEKA DOJDE SESTRA TI PA KJE VIDIME no da ne ispadne polosho sepak i e sestra ------------- SILATA NEKA E SO VAS a ako ne vi treba, neka, i taka ne e nekoj trosok, ja ima nasekade okolu nas. |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 15:06
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vlatko_sk , me nasmea do solzi...
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Постирано од: JANE971
Датум на внесување: 17.Февруари.2007 во 17:21
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ne se deram , samo GLASNO zboruvam, a sega ke sepotam:)))))))
------------- Born to be alive... http://on.net.mk/galerija/jane-ljorovski |
Постирано од: Dogi
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 01:54
ова е стварно комедии, може цел филм да се сними со оваа идеја! baby photographer! ------------- Јас сум мајстор! http://widget.meebo.com/mm.swf?asMwhdKtFb" rel="nofollow - Кликни овде за комуникација со мене (потоа кликнете во полето 'Edit nickname' и впишете го вашето име) |
Постирано од: Igor-T
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 03:11
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Vlatko_SK... Zakon vicot.  Blagodaram. Hehe... ================ Ova od vesnik anegdota tuka vo MKD. Fotografer na svadva vo crkva. Slika ceremonijata, slika, i edno vreme popot se zagleduva vo nego i peejki go tekstot, nadovrzuva: "Neeee-tiiiii---svetnaaaa- Bliiii--Cooottt...!"  Pozdrav Igor -------------  http://igorius.deviantart.com/ - http://igorius.deviantart.com/
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Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:07
Posle toj na Vlatko site drugi ke bidat za nikade... 
Ovaa shega e tolku dobra sto mora da ja povtoram, no so eden mal dodatok The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?" "That's right. I usually do it RAW, with a burst of 11 per second. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:10
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Ajde eden slichen... se raboti povtorno za Canon:
Me: how long will it take to repair this 3 week old 40D? Canon repair center person: between 10 to 15 days, there's a backlog at the moment.
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Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:14
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Two old guys in raincoats are in a dark alley, watching a pretty girl
walk by. One turns to the other and says, as he holds the edges of his coat, "In this dim light, what exposure do you give it?" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:17
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Ancient chinese phylosopher say "wonan who is picture of lovelyness should develope in dark room" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:19
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A photographer went to a dinner party where he showed many of his photographs. The lady of the house said, those are very nice pictures, you must have a great camera. He said nothing, but when leaving for home offered the following compliment to the lady of the house "The meal was very nice, you must have great pots and pans." ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:20
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You are on a photo shoot by the stormy seaside (tsunami scene, flash flood insert as appropriate), ten foot waves are crashing down, and suddenly you notice President Bush (insert local leader as appropriate) getting out of a car to visit the scene of destruction.
Just as you are getting ready to take a shot, a huge wave washes him and his staff into the terrible waters - only you are left on land. You can either save the President by throwing him a rope, or take a unique shot of him drowning. You terrible dilema, you only have a second to decide: Do you use wide angle, or telephoto to zoom in? ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:22
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Two photographer friends meet on a street corner. One mentions that he'd just seen a man lying in an alley who was clearly starving and in dire straits.
What did you give him?, the other photographer asked... "1/250s @ f/8" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:24
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A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to the school.
Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then, at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" Her little girl answered, "God keeps taking pictures of me!" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:25
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Definition of a professional photographer:
Somebody with two cameras and a spouse who works full time. ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:32
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Q. What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an aspiring photographer?
A. A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four. ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:33
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There's a story about a photographer-turned-farmer who purchased a plot of land five miles long but only 20 feet wide on which to grow his crops. His reasoning: "I just love a narrow depth of field." ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:34
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"How would you know if you're a photography freak?"
Ans: "You choose 50% gray as the color of your car!" ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:35
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After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her night stand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks."No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear."Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no!!!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery." ------------- |
Постирано од: Zoran K
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 04:38
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A photographer is about to executed by a firing squad.
The priest comes up to him. Priest: "Have you any last request, my son?" Condemned Photographer: "Yes, Father. Shoot me." ------------- |
Постирано од: zatko
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 07:07
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"""""""""Definition of a professional photographer:
Somebody with two cameras and a spouse who works full time. """" Ej hahahahaha alal da ti e za ova me iznasmea  http://www.blissvp.com - http://www.blissvp.com ------------- www.blissvp.com |
Постирано од: Mire
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 07:10
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LOL Desko jaki se vicovite ... alal vera ------------- Da se obideme da pomogneme i na onie, navidum izgubeni slucai. Za preporacana postapka http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l173/mire_slavejkov/cure.gif - klikni TUKA |
Постирано од: JANE971
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 07:59
 ME IZNASMEAVTE OD SABAJLE. FALA ------------- Born to be alive... http://on.net.mk/galerija/jane-ljorovski |
Постирано од: Vojkan
Датум на внесување: 12.Октомври.2007 во 08:42
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Dobro utro! Fala za vicovive. Super se. Se iznasmeav. Ludilo! Pozdrav ------------- Ernst Haas: "Leica, schmeica. The camera doesn't make a bit of difference. All of them can record what you are seeing. But, you have to SEE." |